how to catch an idiots heart
by toadboss
Summary: Can twilight get the attention of ponyvilles densest bachelor and will the advice of her friends lead to success or failure either way I plan for hilarity
1. Chapter 1

Author note

So first real story kinda I have an idea for a longer story but am not sure so i am posting a short with some of my plot ideas in the background this might not even be the pairing I want to go with I just really liked it feel free to give constructive criticism or if you want more stories say so. You could also just complain if you want free speech and all just don't just insult or whine throw some ideas for improving in there somewhere well here we go

Chapter one

All was well in equeastria , at least for most but not for ponyvills sharpest (pun) Unicorn who had found a problem even she couldn't solve. Inside the library spike watched twilight reading a book with intensity, a common occurrence to be caught his attention was the fact she was sitting next to the window and had been glancing from the book to the clock, to out the window and back to the book again for the past hour " hey Twilight what are you waiting for" spike asked twilight sparkle shot spike a quick and a bit nervous glance " what do you mean spike I'm just reading by the window" " but you keep looking at the.." " just reading SPIKE!" Twilight snapped cutting him off "oh okay then" the little dragon said a bit hurt at the outburst. Twilight suddenly let out a big sigh "wait spike I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell. The thing is... do you remember what's in two days?" "Of course I do. Spike shouted excitedly, " it's heart's and hooves day, I've been working on a card for rarity all week" the fire breathing lizard said pulling a massive heart shaped card so covered in glitter it was difficult to tell the original color. " I put a little extra glitter on so it would shine almost as much as she does " spike said with heart's in his eyes "how ...expected" twilight sparkle deadpaned. "But why do you care you always say "I don't have time for silly filly stuff spike" the dragon said mimicking twilight perfectly, and with finger quotes. Twilight gained a slight blush as she nervously looked away. Spike gained a wide eyed look" twilight do you have a crush on somepony" he almost shouted. The little pony was about to speak when the clock rang for noon and twilight suddenly gasped spike with her magic and pressed him against the window shouting "it's time!" "What's time"spike shouted back worried. "He always shows up at sugar cube corner for lunch because pinky pie makes a special ramen flavored muffin for him well actually she makes twenty." The mare stated spying an orange coated stallion making his way quickly across town letting out a uncharacteristically rarity like sigh. "Wait ramen flavored, you have a crush on naruto?! Spike shouted a shocked look on his face


	2. Chapter 2

Ok author note I guess definitely more hints about a bigger plot but don't expect much more this is just a short romance I am going to see if I can do a decent job before I start my longer story but man is it hard you will probably noticed I used a lot of descriptive words for how the talk the reason is I am trying to get there personality to show especially twilight who is usually calm but has some outburst of emotion when faced with things she doesn't know how to handle and spike who is usually just supported but has some funny zingers in the show tell me how it's going

Chapter 2

Twilight quickly wrestled spike to the ground covering his mouth with her hoof "sshh spike he'll hear you" spike mumbled something behind the hoof "what?" Twilight asked taking her hoof away from her assistant. " he'll hear me from sugar cube corner? " he asked exasperated. " well you never know maybe" twilight said embarrassed. " So you like naruto, wow I didn't see that coming ". Twilight gave spike a sudden narrow eyed stare not liking the way he said that "why not exactly"." Oh no twilight I didn't mean it that way I just always thought you would go for the brainy type and naruto is great and we're friends I just think everyone else not me of course but everyone else thought you would go for celestia's other student" spike stated flustered "what are you talking about the only other student is sunset...I don't like what you just insinuated there spike" twilight said while poking the little dragon in the chest" and while I admit naruto does seem a bit dense at times he has worldly knowledge, the guy has traveled everywhere it seems all to pursue lesser known magics even I haven't heard of" twilight defended. "Yeah your right about that I remember when I first met him he had me use my fire to send different stuff to canterlot all day head was so excited he reminded me of you when you get a new spell" spike replied" exactly he has a thirst for learning" the mare stated proudly. " well since when? You didn't seem interested in him like that before." Spike asked. Twilight had a faint blush to her face as she spoke " no I didn't it was a few weeks ago he came to the library a lot to borrow my magic books and we started talking more then he learned I knew teleportation."

(Flashback tree house library a few weeks ago )

Twilight was having tea with a dark orange unicorn colt with a blonde and slightly unruly spiked main who standing was just a few inches shorter than big Mac. His most noticeable trait was his cutie mark a darker blue spiral leading to what appeared to be a stylized leaf in the center and four small golden triangles pointing in the cardinal directions. This was becoming a common occurrence as the two quickly became closer friends while discussing magic and hearing about each others adventures when twilight teleported to the top floor to grab a book she had left by her bed " twilight you can use teleportation!" The colt shouted excitedly "uh? Oh yeah I guess I never mentioned that it's not that amazing is it?" "Twilight I've never seen anyone besides the princesses and discord use that spell so easily it's casual, your amazing" twilight was quickly gaining an embarrassed blush,she was definitely not an attention seeker but it was nice to hear such compliments from the handsome colt especially because he knew enough about magic to truly mean what he said. Suddenly there was a very loud pop beside her signaling naruto also teleporting next to her with a dizzy look and a touch singed " I've been trying for months but this is the best I can do l." Twilight can you help me?" Naruto asked her with a driven look in his eyes. Twilight felt that faint blush beginning to grow, naruto was often like Pinky at time bouncing from subject to subject in their discussions but when he directed all his attention on her she felt the intensity in his blue eyes and just barely managed to reply" sure I'd love to". The next week flew by as the two ponies practiced every evening together and with twilight's help he quickly became proficient in the spell. It was in these days that twilight learned two very important facts and the first was that he had never had formal training in spells when she asked why his parents never enrolled him with his talent and curiosity in magic the answer that he was an orphan was shocking to say the least. The second was that naruto was far from satisfied in merely being able to perform the spell well he wanted to know it's limits,how many ponies could he transport, how much stuff could he carry, was it the same way discord traveled was there no distance limit he asked many questions even twilight hadn't considered. thus they continued to spend time together researching and little twilight started to notice more things about naruto, his kindness and his humor his long gazes into the forest almost as if he was trying to see something that wasn't there. Twilight sparkle was falling in love without even realizing it. The deciding moment came at the end of the second week of research when naruto started poking her in slight boredom. "Naruto stop" "stop what"? "Stop poking me obviously" she said holding back a laugh and trying to keep a straight face " why" he asked a grin starting to slide across his face " you ticklish?" He started drawing closer."no" twilight said with a nervous laugh then naruto pounced and started a tickle fight that seemed to last forever as they chased each other with teleportation. When they finally lay exhausted together on the floor when the clock struck 6 pm " oh darn sorry twilight I gotta go Pinky is going to teach me how to make ramen muffins " "oh ok " she said feeling a bit down and something else she wasn't sure about. " great see you tomorrow twilight, I'm lucky to have a friend like you" he said leaving "yeah bye" she said watching him leave and feeling strangely disappointed about his farewell. It was watching him run into Pinky when the cheerful baker grabbed him into a hug on the way to sugar cube corner that she realized what she was feeling, jealousy . Twilight was a smart pony and she knew why she was feeling this was, she had read enough of Rarities romance novels to realize." But what if I want to be more than friends" she whispered.

(Flashback end)

"Wow twilight I noticed he was around a lot but I had no idea you had a crush in him" spike said a bit shocked at the normally cool headed pony being so emotional. " I guess you haven't told him right? " he asked " not through lack of trying spike " twilight gained a frustrated look. "What do you mean ". Spike asked twilight sighed "well first I decided I'd get his attention with the right mood so the next time he came over I had candles out and music but" twilight stopped and sighed again" what! What happened twilight?" " Oh spike he fell asleep " she said depressed "ouch" spike cringed " then I tried to be more bold and moved closer to him while on the couch but he didn't even notice he just asked me my opinion on the Crystal empires magic heart" twilight said looking almost angry. "Oh spike can you even imagine what it's like to crush on somepony who doesn't see you romantically at all, to have all you attempts be treated like they didn't happen." Spike gave a twilight a long stare and then looked over at the giant heart card. "Oh right sorry spike I guess you do understand". Twilight said a bit embarrassed over her outburst. " wait twilight maybe friendship is the answer " spike said " what are you getting at here spike " twilight replied "Rarity, if anypony can help you it's her right" spike shouted with excitement.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Spike I'm not sure about this." Twilight said in a panic as Spike pushed her closer to the door of Rarity's boutique."come on Twilight trust me Rarity is definitely the pony to go to for romance." Spike said as he knocked on the door which flew open in a dash as a lovely white unicorn opened the door and greeted them. "Why hello darlings what a wonderful surprise, what brings you to me this evening hmm?" "Hello r-rRarity" spike stuttered out already beginning to lose his train of thought at the sight of his own crush" spikey wikey dear it's always nice to see you but is there a reason or is this a social call because I am a bit busy with orders right now but will definitely have time later for you and twilight " Rarity said cheerfully. " hehu ahh twilight ahh crush yeah." Spike got out, his brain already gone. "Spike, don't just tell her." Twilight shouted face already in an embarrassed scarlet. Rarity seemed to absolutely freeze. "Um Rarity are you okay" the purple mare asked a little concerned. SQEEE went Rarity before she grabbed them both and dashed inside her shop. She set them on the floor and casually bolted the door and windows. She than began to dance around them in excitement." Oh my gosh,oh my gosh you have a crush! How absolutely fabulous!. Who! You must tell me Everything." She suddenly said practically pouncing on the poor mare who was embarrassed beyond belief."i have no clue what your talking about" she denied "Spike" Rarity replied instantly. "Naruto" spike also instantly replied still in his love struck daze. " Spike how could you " Twilight shouted a bit angry " oh I'm so sorry Twilight" Spike said back with regret finally snapping out of his delusions" I thought that was the reason we came here for, so you can get advice" a sudden SQEEE sounded out from Rarity " Naruto, my darling that is a good choice he is rather dashing and I'm so ecstatic you came to me, have no worry I will not lead you astray. Though I will admit I had thought it would be Sun.." Rarity trailed off seeing Spike dash behind twilight who had a darkening expression and shaking his hands to signal her to stop."Um never mind darling of course it's naruto your a match made in heaven dear" Rarity quickly said. Twilight sighed " so do you know how I can tell him I want him to be my special somepony" "Oh darling you leave this to me I'll have him begging you by the end of the day" Rarity declared. "How exactly are you going to do that " twilight said with scepticism. "You just leave everything to me dear, as it so happens he is supposed to be picking up one of his little orange suits I repaired sometime today" "oh he'll be here in about ten minutes" twilight quickly replied. Rarity blinked a few time before turning to face Twilight before asking "Sweety how do you know that". "Well I figured if I view him as a test or assignment I would know what to do so I uhh studied him" Twilight responded embarrassed. "I see, well twilight why don't we keep that our little secret and not tell anyone else Kay?" Rarity stated awkwardly now remembering how Twilight is not the most socially adept of ponies. "Are you sure I took notes they might help" Twilight said while pushing a thick book if notes towards Rarity. "Oh I'm sure I'm very sure." The white unicorn retorted while pushing it back to Twilight

As they were talking a knock sounded from the door. "Rarity I'm here" came a cheerful voice a bit too loudly.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 hide and listen

"Hide" Rarity gasped, Twilight quickly dragged spike behind a group of dress mannequins and under a pile of discarded bolts of cloth and not a moment too soon as the door was suddenly slammed open. "hey Rarity how's it going" the rowdy orange unicorn practically shouted." oooh Naruto must you enter my abode with such pinky like behavior, what if you break my door." Rarity said quickly to gain the stallions attention hoping he wouldn't notice anything amiss. "don't worry I've got a lot of practice not breaking doors for my entrances" Naruto said with a satisfied grin. "you've practised?" Rarity asked with a raised brow, "I absolutely had to Rarity, making a great entrance is an art and I learned that art from the best, though pinky pie sure could give the pervy sage a run for his bits" Naruto replied with confidence "hmm, darling we must sit down and talk about this godfather of yours and how you address him over tea perhaps, when I have a bit more free time, he sounds like quite the character." Naruto once again smiled though it went unnoticed by all that it was more forced than before,"sure that sounds nice. So is my order ready?" Naruto asked with excitement. "oh a course it is dear, Rarity always delivers on time and in fashion after all." Rarity happily boasted while showing a primary black with orange jacket ,the reverse of what he normally wore in the past. "I am happy you let me at least alter the colors, orange on orange just does not work sweety. I can't imagine what you were thinking."

"yeah you are the expert Rarity." Naruto replied while happily looking over his new clothes and imagining how cool he would look."Really? Wonderful so the next one can have blue or maybe red? Oh and of course it has to have gems." As Rarity continued and Naruto day dreamed while unconsciously nodding his head to Rarity the third unicorn in the room was quickly growing irritated and began to levitate a piece of paper into a ball with which then flew into Rarity's face and with a start both of them came back to reality. "Did someone throw that at you?" Naruto asked while looking around."What? Oh! Oh no dear that was me,I must have wanted to write my thoughts down and wasn't paying attention. My what would Twilight say?" Rarity quickly made up an excuse on the spot." oh and speaking of Twilight Sparkle I hear you two have been getting to know each other better." Rarity had a sly grin as she brought her objective into the conversation. "you're right she's been helping me a lot, she's always ready to research something with me. You don't think I'm being a nuisance do you, maybe I should give her some space."Naruto said with a worried look.

"NO"

"NO"

"NO"

Three different shouts rang out in unison making Naruto whirl around with a vigilant look " be careful Rarity I think someone else is here" the orange unicorn began to look around as Rarity began to panic.

"uh uh uh echo ECHO it was a echo Naruto NO one else is here" Rarity managed to quickly stammer out. Naruto turned back to her in a flash a look of disbelief plain on his face. "A echo? But I heard different voices."

" The walls dear it's because of the shape of my boutique" Rarity said with confidence now in her voice,knowing Naruto's trusting nature."oh really?" " yes definitely." "ok then." Rarity was quick to get back on topic."anywho, Naruto the answer is definitely, absolutely no you are not a nuisance. Why just the other day Twilight was telling me how much she loves yo.. uh having yes having you over to talk magic." " Really, she said that." Naruto asked with a brightening smile, already forgetting about the earlier disturbance and not noticing Rarity's misstep in speech." oh yes she adores your company." Rarity began to try to drop more hints." oh that reminds me, Naruto are you aware that hearts n hooves day is very soon." "hmm I guess" Naruto replied wondering how this was related. Rarity decided that it was time to pry." Tell me Naruto have you ever had or perhaps have a special marefriend. I am just curious about how you go about the holiday?"

Naruto began to blush a bit" well you see."


	5. Chapter 5

Have I done a disclaimer? Do I have too? Well here it is I do not own Naruto or mlp friendship is magic if I did you would see more of Derpy. This story is planned to have around 10 or so chapters obviously I keep them short. On a personal note has anyone seen the commercials for mlp toys they look like 90s crap they are for little girls I know but it's like they have never looked at their own show. Also please tell me if you feel the main six are out of character I love Rarity's personality. If they feel off and it obviously isn't for the plot feel free to mention it. Also does my dialogue feel rushed to you?

Chapter 5 exasperation

Naruto knew Rarity was a good friend, he knew she had no ill intention, and he knew he felt like he was staring down a carnivorous beast despite all that. "that was all so long ago Rarity I wouldn't want to bore you and I'm sure you have better things to get to." Naruto was hoping she would drop the subject. Rarity responded with a widening grin " Naruto how could you say that, I always have time for friends and I assure you that there is absolutely nothing I would rather do than listen to you." Naruto quickly found himself lying back on Rarity's fainting couch and not quite sure how he got there."now darling you just sit back and tell big sister Rarity all the juicy details". Naruto decided to do just that having realized he wasn't leaving till he told her something. " I guess I always had a problem with giving up because the first name is definitely sakura my first crush." Naruto said a bit depressed. "oh sakura, that's a unique name, was she a pony?" Rarity asked having long since noticed how unique the names of folks from wherever Naruto was from, where was he from again? Her train of thought was derailed by Naruto continuing. "uh yeah I guess, anyway it probably started when I was around Sweetie Belle's age and I definitely wasn't shy about my feelings, the thing was she definitely didn't feel the same. I think she might have even found me annoying, I asked for years for a chance but never got one." Rarity was quick to offer solace" oh you poor thing well I'm sure it was her loss and who knows it might be another ponies gain. I bet you would give a pony the chance at least to see if it might work out right?" she was also quick to push him in the right direction. " Yeah I probably would, but you never know I guess." Naruto sounded unsure " I mean what if you know it won't work out?". Rarity Then gave him a hard stare and got closer to his face " Darling there is no way to know unless you give love a chance right?"

Naruto decided to concede on that point while wondering what would have been had sakura felt the same. Rarity saw the look on his face and decided to move on " so what was she like, since you pursued her I assume she was your type." " Pink is a good word I guess, she had pink hair for her uh.. mane yeah and she always wore some pink I think hey do you hear something". The sound was a grinding coming from a pile of fabric almost as if a pony consumed by jealousy had visions of pinky then fluttershy with her stallion. "Oh that it's nothing that's just opal purring over something but I am sure she will STOP AT ANY MOMENT NOW." Rarity said while practically shouting at the end. The sound did stop though that was thanks to the elbow of a purple dragon. "Moving on dear you don't seem the sort to pursue someone just on the color of their coat." Rarity said while hopefully moving to safer ground. "Oh I'm not that was just a observation and not really what kept my attention though now I wonder if my affection came from admiration. The thing was I wasn't too bright as a kid, actually I was an idiot. Not all of which was my own fault but I had a rough time at school and sakura was just so smart ya know what I mean?" Naruto asked. Rarity was ecstatic with this change in events. "Oooh you mean you like the intellectual type, such as hmm well Twilight is the first name that randomly pops into my head." Rarity said as a purple unicorn was somehow paying even more attention than before to the blinked a few times in realization " hmm I guess you're right Rarity I really do tend to admire people with smarts. But hey I am a lot smarter than when I was a brat and like I said it never went anywhere she was always more interested in my… friend is a word I could use.. I think. She eventually became a good friend of mine and I moved on." Naruto had a thoughtful look as he said this. " Well I think that was probably for the best besides that I for one think a intelligent pony is perfect for you, as they say opposites attract." Rarity said with a smile. " hey what do you mean opposite of intelligent" Naruto cried with indignation. " just a little joke Naruto after all Twilight has already mentioned to me how quick to learn you are" Rarity said. " so was there anyone else in your life?" Rarity asked. " there was this one friend named Hinata, apparently she liked me even longer than I liked sakura but it never went anywhere. I never noticed and she never told me till much later, maybe something could have happened if we got the chance but well some things happened instead and we never did. Fluttershy honestly reminds me of her a lot though, always quiet and shy except she was a bit weird but I always liked that. To be honest Rarity that's pretty much my love life in a way, always missed chances and too much time wasted." Naruto looked a bit lost in the past as he said this. Rarity looked practically on the verge of melodramatic tears " Oh deary you talk like your old or something, it isn't too late for anything especially love. In fact I am certain the perfect chance for you is just around the corner. You can also rest assured I will see to it that there will be no missed opportunity." Rarity said with a determined look in her eyes. " now I must ask just one more question before I let you go, Naruto is there anypony in ponyville you are interested in hmmm?" Rarity asked with a gleeful smile.


End file.
